I am

the worst gift wrapper in the world.
My gifts are wrapped. They all look like someone with one prosthetic arm wrapped them. but probably someone with a prosthetic arm would take more pride and still wrap the gifts better then me. Mine look like a lazy demented person wrapped them. I think it also goes along with why I stink at quilt making. I've been working on a quilt for 2 months and the more I do it the more insane and crazy I feel. Hire that job out.
Well since no christmas cards are getting sent out this year....here is my true/false christmas letter.

Hey friends and family!
Another GREAT GREAT GREAT year has happened!
So awesome! Totally fun! lots of vacations! (actually none) Went to Europe (nope) Traveled to Asia for a month (didn't do that either). Got awesome Sushi there! Totally awesome! Okay I'll go down the family list.
Danny quit teaching and he won the lottery! I know the lottery is totally evil but still he happened to find a lottery ticket on the floor picked it up and we won millions of dollars. Sold our house in Dayton and now are soaking it up in a hot tub in our mansion. But we were still very charitable and gave a bunch of money to charity. And actually we donated a ton to homeless people. Actually homeless people are living in our house and there is one in the hot tub next to me right NOW!
(the truth: danny is still teaching and loving it, started a gifted program at UC and is just being the awesome dad and husband that he always has been)
Me...Well after giving birth to the sweetest tiny little 6 pound baby (now you know that's a lie) I started training for my iron man which I actually WON in Hawaii last summer. Pretty awesome. Next I ran the Boston Marathon and won that too. So now I'm just decorating our 180.000 square foot house with greenery and homemade recycled vintage ornaments! Love being green!!!
I'm so green that I actually have been dumpster diving and stealing peoples trash and recycling it into beautiful hand painted wallpaper It's all made out of plastic kroger bags. But it looks gorgeous and I'm being featured in 3 magazines.

(put my life on the line and had a 12 pound 1 ounce baby who since that day in April absorbs 95% of my time with the girls soaking up the other 5% But I have started doing yoga and trying to work out occasionally plus teach piano and keep up with that )

Addie is studying abroad at a private school for super talented musicians and she is playing some Beethoven Sonatas at the Schuster. She also is swimming across the panama canal and playing her violin for homeless people in her spare time.

(addie is 7, a dr. seuss reader, poem memorizer, piano player and sister wrestler)

Eva is in the circus and is juggling to Save the Earth . She is one talented 3 year old.

(eva has a super jumping on one foot talent and can write Eva and Mom and she specializes in baby brother take downs)

Harvey is actually already walking and he started a free baby tap dance show that is raising money for dead dolphins or those being threatened by those wishing to kill dolphins. He also paid ransom for some dolphins that were being held hostage. He's just a very special 8 month old!
(Harvey is kinda crawling and is the fattest yummiest baby that we all like to snuggle)

Hope your family is as awesome and amazing and wonderful as mine and if it's not well I feel so sorry for you.

Love always,
The Dotsons