That sounds disgusting I know....I blessed this pregnancy with my first episode of puking tonight.
I feel horrible, I look horrible, I pretty much feel like this baby is the boy in the bubble and I'm the bubble and I don't do much but protect it from all harm for a while before letting it out of the bubble. But this bubble isn't a happy bubble. anyways bad analogy.
Today while I was having school with Addie I heard a message on my answering machine. It was from the Drs. office I go to saying that I should call them back because they have my test results. I had NO idea what test results they were talking about. I've been to this dr. when I had the girls and they never call about test results.....as long as they're normal. Then I remembered they took like 3 containers of blood from me. And I started to panic....The baby has trisomy 18 and its not going to live past birth! What am I going to do? How can I bury my own child the second it's born? What kind of casket should I pick out? Or it could have down syndrome..or it could have spina bifida or something..... I started crying and ran down the stairs to get the phone and call them immediately.
As I was on the phone the nurse paused for a really long time and she was like...."You have a UTI so I'm calling in a prescription for you."
"I do???" I was almost ecstatic....."But I don't even feel like...any weird feelings....like I don't feel like I have a UTI....are you sure?"
"Yes" she said. "We're sure. Now where do you want your prescription sent to?"
My mind is a fragile and troubling thing right now.
I need that sign....Stay calm and carry on....